Friday, December 23, 2011

Harvest unleashed in print!!!



The Harvest is unleashed in print!!!
Want the book that reviews are saying is the most dangerous book ever written?
Grab one up today!

For autographed versions send $40 to
The Goat Franchise
C/O Jake Bannerman
718 SW 51st
Okc,Ok
73108
Takes 6-8 weeks to deliver.
Remember Pitchfork Diaries Vol.2 is coming out St. Patrick's Day 2012
Make sure and leave your messages on The Goat Franchise Hotline
580-920-5964
Six Six Sex,
J

Monday, December 12, 2011

MIDDLE FINGER SALUTE

Middle Finger Salute


By Jake Bannerman


Today I would like to address the ever ongoing subject of people claiming or complaining or whimpering or dropping on their knees praying to Jesus about my writing being to graphic or to violent.
Well since you asked I have a few different views on the subject. Number one, I did not ask you to pick up my book and read it without there being a description or the availability of reviews for you to read and research in advance AND if the term EXTREME HORROR did not tip you off obviously it surprises me none that you would be one to bitch. YOU are the reason America sucks YOU are the old lady who spilled coffee in her lap and sued McDonald's, YOU are the teenager not wearing a condom and inviting yourself to my tax money to pay for the baby you have no right to have. The info is obvious coffee is hot unprotected sex causes pregnancy and if you did not know those things YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!

Number two even sometimes we can take reviews or descriptions non seriously and you know why?
Because people will say what they need to say to sell their product. Its an age old game snake oil cures the sick, regrows hair,eases arthritis you know whatever it needed to do at the right time and place for the con artist to make money and yes yes it is true MALES are the worst about it because we have no problem telling you we can and will satisfy you just to have the opportunity......... oh hell I was not supposed to say that it is in the secret man guide.

Number three, OK this is where Jake gets controversial guess what violence and graphic sex murder rape blood splatter necrophilia chainsawed abortions being fed to nuns decapitating the pope and flying planes into buildings and killing thousands is are you ready.......... IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT!!!!! Check the numbers on movies, People do not stray away from violence or sex or murder have you seen the NEWS lately? Ever heard of NASCAR? How many times do you think people actually watch a race to see cars drive in circles???? NONE NONE AND NONE we watch for the wrecks, Oh no you say NOT ME really? So porn is larger than Hollywood in terms of income because NOBODY is interested in sex? How fucking silly do you think I am?


So what do I say when people say I am graphic violent and sexual, I say yes I am! I am a human being created by a God who programmed me with lust,sin,anger and the desire to be interested in every damn one of them! Its called the Pleasures of the FLESH and I indulge in every one of them every fucking chance I get the chance. Just remember that the bible says THE WAGES OF SIN ARE DEATH wait death and sin? HOW VIOLENT.........

TOP TEN

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000168 EndHTML:0000004417 StartFragment:0000000471 EndFragment:0000004400
TOP TEN

BY:JAKE BANNERMAN

This time I am going to go over something I struggle with on a daily basis and that is acceptance and my top ten reasons why I should strive to gain your acceptance and then I will rebuttal my own top ten with another top ten reasons why I should not.

  1. I want you to buy my book!
  2. I want your friends and family to buy my book
  3. I want your girlfriend to buy my book
  4. I want your girlfriends family and friends to buy my book
  5. Start at number 1 and repeat

There is no question about it I want book sales I want to bathe in money and drive my Mercedes into an ice cream truck just to see the artwork it would create,I want to surround myself with porn stars who live to have my dick slapped on their face when I bust a nut. I want monogrammed toilet paper, I want to lite my cigarettes with hundred dollar bills and by the way I want to fuck your girlfriend and her mother and her sisters while you video tape it. Now let me give you my top ten reasons why I am not completely worried about your acceptance!


    1. I do not give a fuck if you buy my book!
    2. I don’t give a fuck if your friends and family buy my book
    3. I do not care if your slut girlfriend buys my book!
    4. And as far as her family and friends go,unless They are fucking me I could care less
    5. Start at number one and repeat.

So its like this I want you to buy my book because it is a quality product and its well worth your time and honestly want you to become interested in my work and continue to read my work because I enjoy doing it and enjoy the fact that you read it.
At the same time if it means I think ant less of my self because you do not buy my book or you talk bad about my book ( join the fucking club) you would be dead wrong..

Now I am surrounded by professionals who tell me what and what not to say and this is the kind of thing that will get their blood boiling and I will face the repercussions I am sure it will be a routine ass chewing from my partners.

But guess what I will continue to wave my flag around with my my middle finger up and spitting venom and vigor and swagger and pissing on the book world and see what people seem to miss about a guy like me is this, If I am on your side I will do all of these things for YOU because without YOU I am nothing but one voice, With YOU we are an army!!!
My point is do not hate the shotgun because it is dangerous BUY the shotgun because it is dangerous!
You have a chance to join me in flipping off the world and liking it or you can go buy the next faggot vampire book and continue to act like you are a horror fan.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Pitchfork 2????

Did you ever wonder if your unborn was telling you a story? In The Pitchfork Diaries Vol 2 this baby talks in an unusual way "Delivering The Serpintine in Rapture" one of the stories in Pitchfork 2 coming St.Patrics Day 2012

Sunday, November 27, 2011

FEEDBACK FROM HARVEST READERS!

FIRST AND FORMOST LET IT BE KNOWN I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE READERS WERE AND HAVE NEVER HAD ANY CONTACT WITH ANY OF THEM. I HAVE BEEN DYING TO SEE FEEDBACK FROM COMLETE STRANGERS WITH NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERTE GETTING INTO.
THE 2 THINGS I WAS REALLY HOPING TO HEAR WAS
"IVE NEVER READ ANYTHING LIKE THIS" AND IT SCARED ME INTO THINKING ABOUT THINGS.
DID I GET ME WISH!!! CHECK OUT A COUPLE OF QUOTES FROM 2 TEST READERS


1.Okay first off kudos! I have never read anything like this before. I mean ive read horror, but
this was just off the wall and somewhat real to me. I loved it

2.read it in one sitting and had to read it again it just blew my mind

3.So many parts of this book had me with my jaw dropped, and sometimes afraid to read what was next!

4.liked this scene on the account of it gave me chills all throughout my body. Because clearly you
cant trust Satan not even the audience was safe from his destruction. I did not see that coming!

5.Never have i read anything like this. It is a great concept and what you did with it was genius.

No one can try to do a story like this and top what you have done, and the terror you brought to
me while reading this book.

6.I thought this was written perfectly throughout, I just loved the overall voice, It had an
intelligence which was crucial to carry both the message and the horror, without it falling into
some sad ‘Try Hard’ preaching monstrosity. 

SO,.........WHAT WILL YOU THINK?



Thursday, November 24, 2011

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM ALL OF US HERE AT THE GOAT FRANCHISE!
STUFF YOURSELVES AND GET HIGH ON TRIPTOPHAN.
LOTS OF GREAT STUFF GOING ON HERE INCLUDING A POSSIBLE INVASION OF THE PITCHFORK DIARIES INTO THE METROPOLITAN LIBRARY SYSTEM (REQUEST IT AT YOUR LIBRARY).
POSSIBLE BOOK SIGNINGS COMING SOON.
REMEMBER PITCHFORK IS A GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR AS LITTLE AS .99 CENTS ON SMASHWORDS.COM OR UNDER $10 AT AMAZON.COM
AND GRAB A SIGHNED COPY FOR JUST $20 BY EMAILING ME OR CLICKING ON THE PAYPAL BUTTON TO THE RIGHT
JAKEBANNERMAN@GMAIL.COM
EAT UP FELLOW GOATS!

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Death of The Goat????

Ladies and gents this is a very important post and may be the end of you being a fan of The Goat Franchise or just the begening of a new understanding of what you have been dealing with over the past year.
My name is Jake and I stand before ALL of you and announce things that have been hidden under the surface from the public eye and that I am going to shed some light on today.
I AM A MANIC DEPRESSANT WITH SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!!!
Notice how all of that is in capitol letters? I have been fighting depression my entire life and I have refused to take medication my entire life, Until recently I lived in a very depressed world with stretches of normal thought process. And I stand by the resoning that I did not take medication because I did not want to alter my view on things my vision and my out of the box thinking which has offered us some very interesting books in the future and well..... The Pitchfork Diaries.
I am INSANE and also until recently out of work for the very first time in my life which also led to no medication. I have been taking medication for months now and it has zero effect on my writing , thankfully I can tap into my depression even when I am on the meds. However now that the meds are in my systemn when I do not have them I fall apart. And over the last month I did not just fall apart I fell apart in public.
I set myself on fire and announced to the world with un abashed vigor that I wanted to be dead and that I wanted to set everyone I knew on fire and watch them burn as i bled to death from self inflicted wounds.
IT WAS HOW I FELT, suicide is a very real demon i face and i face it daily.
I in the last month have lost everyone who has been an amazing part of this journey. What many of you do not know is that behind the scenes there were 3 amazing women running this entire thing AND at the same time putting up with me, Trying to keep me from commiting not just suicide but career suicide and thay will always be the origional foundation of what The Goat Franchise will grow to be. I LOVE all of them and I want to state here publicly that I WAS WRONG and that I AM FOREVER SORRY.
I also want to state this in public.
I am the author of The Pitchfork Diaries and The Harvest HOWEVER each of the memebers of TGF contributed in editing in sharpening ideas maning the book better. I write vomit this is stated all over my interviews I take very small amount of credit for the books I have written because without the girls the books would not have been the same.
The parties involved with not to be named in association with me or TGF but let me assure you they are amazing talents 2 of them well known authors and one of them a fantastic social media promotions whiz.
I will not speak in a negative light about any of them and I wish them all much success.
SO WHAT NOW JAKE THE SUICIDAL MANIAC?
Well trutch be known nothing at this point has changed much except I do not have anoyone helping me.
The Harvest is still on schedule for release on Christmas day on ALL of the same retailers as Pitchfork like Amazon,Barnes and Nobles and iBoooks etc.
LASTLY for now.
It was an accusation thrown at me when everyone left that I used CANCER (which I have btw) to gain money for myself...... THIS IS AN ABOSLUTE LIE!!!!
I have never and would never use this to gain money and whomever would ever think of such garbage is not associated with me and would never be.
I am sick and on Methotrexate, Pregnazone and Humera to deal with the issues of my disease and if I have to come out and say I am sick I have cancer to stand up in front of everyone to show I want to help I AM DOING IT!!! Gain money for myself? What money we have not mader any money !!!
The Pitchfork Diaries have not generated enough money at this time to pay my cell phone bill lolol
So let it be known in power point form
THE GOAT FRANCHISE IS ALIVE
I AM ETERNALY GREATFUL FOR THE GOAT GALS
I AM A SUICIDAL MANIAC
I AM NOT USING CANCER TO MAKE MONEY
THE HARVEST COMES OUT DEC 25TH
NOW HIRING!!!!!!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Message from the Beast

Listen up Indie Bands - got a message from the beast for ya:

For all of the bands out there who send me a T-shirt (XXL), I will not only send you back a photo of me wearing your shirt & supporting you, but I'll also list you in the "thank you" section of the next book, plus toss you back a copy of the book in exchange!

Now on top of that, since I do work with words and am a musician myself, I'm gonna run a contest to write some seriously twisted lyrics to a song for one of those bands who sends in a T.

Send me you're stuff guys, and I'll drag you into the pit of hell with me!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

First Licks...

Everybody ready for their first taste of "Harvest"...

With his words still hanging heavily in the air, he bent down to remove the tattered and flaking head of his wife from the box. The embalmers had worked to the best of their abilities, but regardless of any chemicals that are pumped into it, human flesh will eventually rot and return to dust.

"She is here to face the Lord tonight with all the rest of you! She hath broken the covenant sworn to both God and myself; she carried the seed of sin within her womb! And now – now, she will confess these sins before God and before the world!"

Despite the gruesome sight before their eyes, the crowd cheered and wept. They could not prevent themselves from worshiping the man on the stage as he held up the severed and lifeless head of his once beautiful wife. Gently turning her blank and staring glass eyes towards him, he took a black marker pen and carefully wrote ‘H A R L O T’ on the mummified forehead. He then raised her face and kissed her one last time on the dry sandpaper dead lips before balancing the stump of her neck on the stage so that she could watch the show.

Monday, October 24, 2011

HOWS THE FUCK YAS DOIN?

NO NO NO WE ARE NOT DEAD AS A MATTER OF FACT THE REASON THIS BLOG HAS BEEN WELL...... LACKING IS BECAUSE WE AT THE GOAT FRANCHISE HAVE BEEN BUSY AS HELL ONE OF US WORKING ON THE DEMONIC DOLLS COMP ANOTHEWR WORKING ON OUR PRESS BLITZ FOR PITCHFORK WHICH INCLUDES A FULL PAGE ADD COMING OUT IN UK'S SCREAM MAGAZINE!!! ABOTHER ONE OF THE GALS HAS BEEN CREEPINF UNDERGROUND DOING SOME STEALTH OPPERATIONS FOR US AND WELL I HVE BEEN UP TO MY ASS IS INTERVIEWS AND GUEST POST AND WELL I AM LOVING IT!!!
LAST WEEK I WAS ON TYO HELL AND BACK RADIO WITH SUZY LEWIS I AM NOW WRITING A WEEKLY COLUMN CALLED SUPER ELASTIC DEVIL PLASTIC FOR KILLERAPHRODIATE.COM AND STARTING IN NOVEMBER A MONTHLY COLUMN FOR GET FANGED.COM AND WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY WE HAVE BEEN KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES!
WE ALSO ARE SELLING THE BOOK SIGHNED IN MY BLOOD AND SHARPIE AUTOGRAPHED VERSIONS AS WELL AT HTTP://THEGOATFRANCHISE.COM
SO AS THE PRESS DAYS FOR THE PITCHFORK DIARIES COME NEAR AND END CATCH YOUR BREATH BECAUSE THE ROLLERCOASTER FROM HELL STARTS ITS NEXT RIDE AS THE HARVEST COMES OUT ON CHRISTMAS DAY! KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR NEWS AND INFORMATION AND CONTEST ON HOW TO WIN BOOKS AUTOGRAPHS AND MUCH MORE HERE AND AT THEGOATFRANCHISE.COM!
AND IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY GET YOUR ASS OVER TO THE FACEBOOK PAGE
http://www.facebook.com/J.S.Bannerman AND SHOW THE WORLD WHO HAS THE BEST READERS AND FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!!!
BLESSED ARE THE SICK,
J

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Satan's Toybox: Demonic Dolls

Horror isn’t just about gratuitous blood, gore and violence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of extremity; when used appropriately, it can be utterly brilliant and evocative. However, too many people think that in horror, violence is the be-all and end-all; and in thinking so, they overlook the fact that often, it is the in the mundane and everyday that true horror can be found.

Ask a child what they’re scared of, and it isn’t going to be a knife-wielding maniac or a devious poltergeist. Instead, a child will often be afraid of something very ordinary – spiders, for example, or clowns (as an aside, I think that’s why Jake’s story ‘Becoming’ from the Pitchfork Diaries really knocked me for six with the way it played on that fear.)

For me, my very great fear was porcelain dolls.

There’s just something about those blank, glassy stares and painted smiles that even now sends a chill through me. My mother was an avid collector of them; perhaps it’s simply because we had a bad relationship that I took so strongly against them, but even now that I’m (allegedly) a rational adult, the sight of them is enough to bring me out into a cold sweat.

It was from that particular fear that I took inspiration for a short story that will be released this weekend in the ‘Satan’s Toybox: Demonic Dolls’ anthology by the wonderful Angelic Knight Press. Below is an excerpt from ‘Lullaby’.

She rolled onto her side so that she did not have to look at the doll. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Grace sang softly under her breath, singing the soothing lullabies that her parents had calmed her to sleep with since she was a tiny infant. The words drove away all of her fear, and the song soon faded away as the little girl drifted off to sleep with a drowsy smile on her face, rosy cheeks pressed into the white sheets and fair curls tousled around her chubby face.

When she awoke again, it was the middle of the night. All was silent in the small house, and the velvet darkness was seeping into the bedroom through the crack in the lilac curtains; the dim illumination of the child’s nightlight provided little resistance against it.

Throwing her arms out of the covers, Grace murmured sleepily as she rolled onto her back. There came an answering whisper, so faint that it seemed it must have been carried in upon the gentle breeze that was blowing in through the open window.

Jerked back into full consciousness, Grace froze where she lay, filled with the childlike fear of the darkness. Suddenly remembering the doll that her mother had placed next to the bed, her eyes flew open. “Mummy?” she whispered uncertainly, too afraid even to look around the room.

Grace?” came the soft sigh once more, but it was not her mother’s voice that spoke it. “Grace, look at me...”

With a thrill of horror, Grace slowly turned her head to look sideways towards the little table that the doll was resting upon. It was still exactly where her mother had left it, and Grace’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as she stared at it properly for the first time.

The porcelain doll was beautiful. Blonde curls that were so like Grace’s own hung in elegant waves around the finely crafted face, a face that was so pale that it seemed almost to glow in the faint and eerie light of the bedroom. Pink lips pouted, fixed and immovable, but it was the eyes that Grace could not look away from.

Framed by thick, spiky lashes, the glass eyes were completely black. Blankly staring out into the room, the flicker of the nightlight was reflected in their depths as Grace stared into them. With a rising panic, she opened her mouth to call for her mother, but the words would not come. Instead, she heard the calm whisper once more.

Don’t call for Mummy, little Grace, for she won’t come. Her mummy didn’t come to her, and she won’t come to you.”

Oh, my! So many times when I was Grace’s age I convinced myself that those hateful dolls were speaking to me in just such a manner. It was a tale that seemed to flow from the tips of my fingers with the greatest of ease; perhaps it took root from a nightmare long since buried, or perhaps it’s simply an amalgamation of all the myriad of ill thoughts I’ve had towards them over the years.

Writing the tale was an exorcism of sorts, but I still have no intention of having any of the wretched things in my home. I took great pleasure when I moved out in smashing to pieces the ones that my mother had bought for me, for they have no place in my home, not when my heart begins to race and I can’t rest easy with their glassy eyes fixed upon me.

To see what other tortured delights are contained in the anthology, head on over to the Facebook page for more excerpts. Satan's Toybox: Demonic Dolls is now available to buy at Amazon and Smashwords.

Kate x

Sunday, October 2, 2011

THE GOAT FRANCHISE ARRIVES!!!

WE ARE VERY VERY PROUD TO ANNOUNCE!
THE GOAT FRANCHISE IS LAUNCHING OUR OWN WEBSITE, THIS WEBSITE WILL COVER
ALL THINGS INVOLVING THE GOAT FRANCHISE INCLUDING THE ADDITION OF NEW AUTHORS AS WELL AS CONTENT FROM EVERYONE INCLUDING THE NOW FAMOUS AND  DAMN SEXY GOAT GALS!
WWW.THEGOATFRANCHISE.COM
AS WE GROW WE WANT YOU TO BE ON THE RIDE WITH US AND WE HAVE SOME EXCITING THINGS COMING UP INCLUDING TAKING SUBMISSIONS FROM UP AND COMING AUTHORS WHO WANT TO PUBLISH WITH US, AS WELL AS THE JOB OPENINGS!!
YOU WANT TO WORK AT THE GOAT FRANCHISE? KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED!
THE SITE WILL OFFICIALLY OPEN AT 6 AM OCTOBER 3RD!!
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Bang Noir: Interview with Jake Bannerman for his novel The Pi...

Bang Noir: Interview with Jake Bannerman for his novel The Pi...: Please join me once again with Jake Bannerman who has been kind enough to answer some unorthodox interview questions for Bang Noir . After...

Friday, September 30, 2011

Guest blogger - Colin Barnes

Colin F. Barnes is a writer from the UK who writes Science Fiction, Horror and Thriller fiction. He likes to take the gritty edginess from his surroundings and personal experiences and translate them into his stories. He is currently working on an anthology of horror stories in his 'City of Hell Chronicles' setting after recently debuting with a crime anthology titled 'Killing my Boss'.


Essence of Extremity

Dark fiction is a wide umbrella covering a gamut of flavours of sub genres. I tend to write and read what I call Horror. It's at the extreme end of Horror. Somehow, over the course of the last decade, 'Horror' has been devalued to cover paranormal romance and angsty YA urban fantasy. One only needs to look at the Amazon charts under Horror to see this diabolical hijacking of the label. What his means is that readers are slowly but surely loosing the true essence of extremity within the horror bounds.

I'm talking about Ketchum, Barker, early King, Laymon et al. I'm talking about I Spit On Your Grave, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original), Hellraiser etc.. You know, when Horror meant horrific experiences. When horror had scares that actually scared you.

I remember watching the original Friday the 13th as a kid and having nightmares for weeks after; that was pure horror (of its time). Not this weak romantic rubbish. I mean, come on, what the hell is 'horror' about a woman having a romantic triangle with an effeminate vampire and a pruning wolf? It makes me sick to see Horror be reduced to this.

One of the first dark fiction books I read as a youngster was King’s IT – so yeah, I now fucking hate clowns too. King has single handedly ruined children’s parties (for the adults). Excellent work Steve!

We need more of this subversive fiction. We need to twist common tropes into things that scare the living crap out of people. Without fear, humanity gets lazy. Life becomes predictable, stale, and safe. Who wants that? Not me. I want excitement. I want to double check that thing I thought I saw in the shadows, I want to feel the frisson of energy as I hear footsteps late at night in the attic. What I don’t want is this bland formula of ‘horror.’ And neither should you.

So, what can we, as creatives, do about it? Promote, write, share, push, and abuse networks. Get our work out there; force people to dwell in the shadows again, scare the crap out of them. It means we as authors and creators need to dig that little bit deeper; find what scares the jaded/cynical people of today and hold a mirror up to their fears and go beyond what it is considered acceptable. It's only when doing that can we actually reclaim the title of Horror.

This is where the essence of extremity comes in. I’m not advocating stories to be extreme for extreme’s sake. That’s too lazy, and it’ll show. Hell, it already shows in things such as SAW. Torture porn with no real intent behind it. We need to take the extreme areas of life and our imagination and tie them into everyday reason. That is how we can reconnect ‘Horror’ with the masses.
Most people are disgusted or even bored at extreme gore, so we need to be cleverer about it. We need to be more subtle, and insidious with out extreme stories.

Once you’ve roped in a reader and given them a false sense of security with a solid grounding of reality and rationale, then you bring your out the big guns. You give them terrifying situations with things that can barely be described with regular words. You show them something so horrendous that it’s impossible to fit it wholesale into your stories. You want to leave some of ‘it’ hanging outside of the story so that it sits inside your readers mind, clawing its way out for weeks on end.

If you’re going to have gore or extreme sex (which are both good things in proper Horror) you have to do it so it counts. Everyday people can see the most horrendous things as easily as searching on Google. They are desensitized to the images and videos and concepts. We need to make it personal. And there is only one way to do that -- no, not abduct them and taken them into your basement dungeon – but good, deep characterization.

Weak protagonists are just that. No one cares about some insipid teenager, or some moaning kid. You want fully realized three-dimensional characters that are made up of shades of grey. No one likes wholly good or wholly bad characters; they have to be a mix. They have to be like you and I (perhaps not like me, readers really wouldn’t be able to relate to me). They have to be the everyman/everywoman.

Take that character, get inside their head, and then bring on the horror. That is the essence of extremity – personal experiences shared by the author with the reader. Connect! When you think you’ve gone as far as you can, slug a shot of whiskey, pull your pants up and go beyond. You know you can do it. We have to do it for Horror’s sake.

##

A brilliantly argued guest post, I'm sure you'll agree!
You can find Colin online at Twitter, his personal website and Amazon.



Kate x

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Pitchfork 2?

Some titles I'm working on for Pitchfork 2
The amnesia chronicle
The birth splinter
Room full of hangers
Scrapping under the fingernails of nightmares
Chanel No.5 and burning feathers
The symphony of grenades
The prosecution of the minute hand
Pitch pink monolith 
Burnt leaves and forsaken ashes
Extreme serenity of fire
Drowning in a glass of matches
Extracting the teeth of deities 
Ok it does not come out for six months but I wanted to give you a sneak peak!
Blessed are the sick,
J

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Not for sympathy! Just an explanation. I will kick cancers ass!

An explanation: 14 years ago I was told I have a rare form of leukemia a slow degenerate form of blood cancer that effects my joints (psoriatic arthritis ) as well as caused blockage in my veins due to the effects on my livers ability to properly filter.
At the time they said I may not make it to 40. This is something I have kept quiet about for a long time.
I am not going to die anytime soon,
However due to the progression of the disease I am going to start chemo.
My writing will not be effected many do not know this but in 8 months I wrote The Harvest,The Pitchfork Diaries and over 30,000 words of Return to Sender and have half of Pitchfork 2 finished AND the beginning of K13 which will come out Halloween 2012. I also have 9 more books in the works! I am not going to let me stop me I promise you. Each time a book sells a % goes to cancer research,
Thanks to everyone who has written in my support and thank all of you who are a part of The Family of Dog/The Goat Franchise!
Blessed are the Sick,
J

Friday, September 23, 2011

Guest blogger - Charles W Jones

This week's guest post comes from Charles W Jones (@ChuckWesJ). Charles is the author of The Second Plain and An Unnamed Acquaintance.  The Second Plain is his first published work.  It is about a man, Saul, who can control dreams; both his and that of other people.  During the story, Saul has to discover that he is actually in charge and not the Man who is wreaking havoc on people’s dreams, turning them into nightmares.  


This book took Charles around six years to write; not because of writers block, but because life jumped in the way.  His second book, An Unnamed Acquaintance, is a collection of strange short stories and poetry.  After reading Jake’s Pitchfork Diaries, Charles decided that it was time to put his short stories and poetry together.  Charles wrote these stories and poems several years ago and updated them from their original borderline vanilla state.  Learn more about Charles at his blog, bizzarofiction.blogspot.com or by following him on Twitter @ChuckWesJ.





I’ve been writing odd little stories since I was a kid.  Most are lost and forgotten somewhere in the dust motes of the past.  I draw, too, and attempt to dabble with Photoshop, but that program is a little bit much for me.  I grew up in a small town called Shoshoni, WY and I managed to break free from its grasp with my dark soul intact.  Growing up in a small town scared me to death most of the time.  It’s very dark at night - I mean really dark.  I think Shoshoni had like ten streetlights.  To top it off, it is full of ghosts; well, that’s what I thought when I was kid. Turns out it was just the constant wind blowing dirt around.

I was the only one that knew about The Second Plain during the writing process.  I guess the reason is because…I have no idea; maybe I just didn’t want anyone to know until I was finished.  (I’m trying to be more forthcoming about my current work in progress, Circus Tarot.)  During the process of writing The Second Plain, my partner’s father’s cancer returned with a vengeance and I couldn’t concentrate on much of anything.  Then earlier this year I decided it was time to finish.  That actually was very easy; everything was still fresh in my mind.  The problem came with the editing, I used a source that was recommended to me on the internet (I will not mention any names), and published it on Smashwords.  Then a friend of mine starts telling me that words are missing.  FUCK, are you kidding me?  Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life. 

I told my partner about writing The Second Plain as I was posting the information on Facebook.  Yes, I admit I have communication issues and I’m a bit reclusive (until you get to know me) but that’s part of my charm.  Everyone else is as shocked that I wrote a book as he was.  When they ask what it’s about, I’m vague at first, forcing them to ask more questions.  When I say, “It’s a horror novel” why do people feel compelled to ask, “Is it scary?”  Didn’t I just say it’s a horror novel?  Then I explain a little bit more.  

People look at me strangely too, when I say “horror”; one even said “you look so normal.”  I write fiction, lady, I don’t write about things I do on my free time, as fun as that would be sometimes.  The thing that worries me the most about The Second Plain is that people won’t be able to get past the fact that Saul, the main character, is gay; even though that has maybe 5% influence on the story.  The Second Plain is not gay erotica; those books are really creepy though.  It is not packed full of man-on-man action; I have to admit there are two scenes but one is vague, and in the other the man catches on fire. 

There isn’t a part of the horror genre I don’t like.  I like it creepy, filled with suspense or brutal with descriptive torture scenes.  My favorite horror movies have always been the slasher movies; give me the gore.  Lately, there hasn’t been anything that has made me even giggle once.  I find most horror movies funny; aren’t they supposed to be?  I actually wrote The Second Plain because I was bored with what was out there in the horror genre at my local independent bookstore (literally a bookshelf 8” wide with four shelves and not even full).  I decided that if Clive or Stephen can do it, then I could too.

I’m currently working on Circus Tarot.  It’s a fun little tale about a husband and wife with a weird Donna Reed feel.  The wife works part-time at a consignment shop and the husband is a junior partner at some office.  Wifey buys some tarot cards from an old woman at the shop and ends up in the dark world of Circus Tarot.  There are some excerpts on my blog.

Thanks Jake, Kate and everyone else at Family of Dog for the opportunity to guest blog. 





The Second Plain is as available in eBook format at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and other eBook retailers; it is also available in paperback at Amazon and Createspace.  An Unnamed Acquaintance is available at Smashwords and other eBook retailers coming soon. 

Kate x

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Blood autograph!

For Halloween I will be signing 50 copies of Pitchfork with my own blood!
You want a limited edition blood copy?!
This is for the diehard!
Each hand numbered copy will sell for $40
And I am taking pre orders now!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

BY POPULAR DEMAND REPOST!!!! IN THE MOUTH OF BUTTERFLIES!!!

In the Mouth of Butterflies

As I grew up on the belief that the West is THE Great Satan the devil, and I do not understand this because Satan is not large in any way shape or form. For this reason I decided to learn to fly in the largest act ofJihad, never! I am going to tell you the secret to why we are very excited about our sweet smell of THEMISSION fresh vaginal skin tight that the blood dripping taps cling Yes, we have the motivation to receivevirgins at death is the cause of jihad. The definition of jihad "internal struggle" the desire to FUCKAmerican women the Great Satan produces the best Pussy It is well known in our land. Porn Stars women who will fuck in multiple number of all desire UNCONTROLLABLE OUR DESIRES. FUCKING sexual andabsorb the juice and taste of women and girls Blonde YOUNG our desires will be met. Can not be a manof any race to deny this desire! Even in your Bible Christian Adam surrendered Luxury nights in the fall ofthe entire cause but you still look at me with hate in your eyes, and that is fine because I fucking women inevery hole and the skin on the CUM RED LIPSTICK sets a new personal whores. Dying in a plane thatwas worth PEOPLE THREE THOUSAND, who died because now I get my head FUCK AND THE reduces the jihad with  each load of cum from my cock

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pitchfork Diaries Vol . 1 just .99 FOR THE FIRST 1000 COPIES

The demand for the Pitchfork Diaries has been insane and the reviews are off the charts!
So just to spread it out a little further and make it easier to get your paws on this bad boy!
We are going to sell it all week long for .99 cents on smashwords!
That is crazy cheap! And after this week it goes back to $2.50 so if you have not snagged one now is the time!!!!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Killer Aphrodite

Hey guys and girls,

Exciting news to share today - Jake is going to be writing a weekly column over at the supremely awesome Killer Aphrodite! To celebrate, they're running a giveaway for the Pitchfork Diaries, so swing by, say hi and show them some dirty love in the way that we know only you can...

Kate x

Friday, September 16, 2011



Awesome! The best interview I have ever received thanks to Silver and the GF family!
Suzanne and jeep!
FOD supports Get Fanged 100%!!!!

Guest blogger - Darkside Films


So, today I'm delighted to be able to share with you all an interview with DW Kann @ Darkside Films. As you know, here at the Family of Dog and the Goat Franchise we're avid supporters of all things horror, and I jumped at the chance to have a chat with DW about their new project, 'Sever'. They might be filmmakers, but there's a lot here for film buffs and authors alike - if you like horror, then you'll love reading what they have to say.

Pull up a seat and have a read. Let us know what you think, let them know what you think, share the link around and don't forget to swing by www.severthemovie.com when you're done. Kate x


1. So, tell us where this all began! Was it a midnight flash of
inspiration, or has this project been something you’ve dreamed of
doing for a long time?

SEVER is a project that has had a long journey before it was ever committed to paper.  I kept a log from as far back as the early 1990's of circumstances that I had experienced or stories I heard.  Then several years ago I began researching heavily into serial killers, part of this was from a particular experience I had encountered back in college.  A friend and I used to "hedge" or go "urban spelunking" in abandoned buildings. We had seen a lot of strange things and had even ventured at night in these places.  One night we were about to go in and I decided not to go, something in my gut told me it was a bad idea.  After some back and forth arguing with my friend who called me a "pussy" we decided to go and get a pint instead.  The next morning on the local news I saw the building we were at the night before and they were removing a body of a serial killer who had slit his own throat.  He had been linked to a couple of be-headings in the area, the news dubbed him the Vampire-Nazi.  Needless to say it was a year before we stepped foot back in that place.  They say write what you know, I believe life experience is the best way to lend itself in screenplay form.   

2. What makes ‘Sever’ different from all the other horror films out there?

SEVER I wanted to take a step further and create an online world prior to the film.  Not just a trailer, but a character, someone who hides in plane site in every day life.  I wanted this film to be interactive, whether you read or listen to the information about Patrick online before or after you've seen the film.  You can discover all this back story on your own, in researching about him.  This would give you far more depth to a character than just tuning in for an hour and a half.  He's more complicated than that.  I've never seen a film approached this way and this was something I've been wanting to do long before social media took over the internet.  We connect with movie stars this way, with friends, with prisoners even dating.  Why not create an iconic horror character this way and who we can follow.

3. Where do you draw your inspiration from?

Really from everything.  I know that may sound trite.  But I spend a lot of time outdoors and being very active.  I also enjoy researching immensely as well as my photography and artwork.  These all gestate in my mind swirling around and then something clicks.  It may be an image that spawns a story or a line that someone told me.  I'm also a huge observer of people which also lends itself to wonderful stories to tell as you can imagine.

4. Has there ever been a moment when you’ve doubted whether this
project would succeed? And if so, how did you beat the doubts?

I've been battling to get this film made for almost six years through various means.  I've never believed in a project as much as this.  If it fails it's because I gave up and that won't happen.  I've given the screenplay to at least twenty people or more who've read it to get their response which has been amazing.  They see it's potential and that's what really keeps me going, their enthusiasm to want to see a finished product.  Their thoughts on how the story ends and who Patrick is and what he means are all different, that is something very special me and the fact that I was able to capture it in this way always puts a smile on my face.

5. More and more authors are making the jump into self-publishing, but are often met with disdain. Have you encountered this at all as a
result of your unconventional approach to funding your film project?

It's a constant battle to get your project made, whether it be a book, film or album.  Especially now with the advent of consumer grade cameras.  Everyone thinks they're a filmmaker who owns a computer and a camera and that's just not true.  Not everyone can accomplish this, but society dictates otherwise.  And with the market flooded with so much mediocrity you have to really stand out.  I believe if your work truly has longevity, someone will find you and take that chance.

6. How can our readers support you – and why should they?

I only have a few days left on my kickstarter page.  I will be re-launching it again via a different crowd funding site in a month or so.  I am currently putting together another promo trailer which I will also launch at the time.  If your readers like what they see either there or on the films website www.severthemovie.com they can support us by contributing, even if it's just a $1.  As I mentioned above, the people that have read the script and the comments of new fans who have been reading Patrick's blog on the site and listening to his interview want more, they like what they're discovering.  I think your readers will too.

7. Fan-backed projects have really taken off of late, both in music
and in film. Do you think that the industry needs to seriously
consider your approach as the way forward?

Yes, I think this is truly the wave of the future.  It may take some time to stick, but Hollywood has already been searching through talent on YouTube for instance, so why not crowd funding.  The great thing is that fans, true fans can put their money to something they believe in and watch it come alive and be apart of it.  

8. You’re going to be filming in Martha’s Vineyard at the end of this
year. Is that where you always imagined you would film when the
project was conceived?

Yes, the other part of my story of how SEVER came to be was told to me by my father over 20 years ago about a man arriving here on the island via a small boat.  He lived in a winter house that had been closed for the season by the ocean.  Sneaking around the island, making money, doing what he needed too to survive and then one day he vanished.  I know this because I saw what he left behind.  This place has a lot to offer and delivers the isolation I am looking for.  Especially in the winter months.

9. Who do you think ‘Sever’ is going to appeal to?

Oh man, that's a good question.  I would hope it would transcend beyond the horror fans.  There are some gruesome moments, but it's really a psychological thriller.  Growing up watching Polanski, Lynch, Cronenberg to name a few as a kid really stuck with me.  One of the biggest compliments I receive from everyone that has read the screenplay is that they have a love hate relationship with Patrick.  I enjoy that very much because it is those characters you never forget in films.  

10. In media, some people see what they do as a job, and others do it
simply because they have an overwhelming love for it. Which side of
the fence do you come down upon – is Darkside Films a profession or a passion?

It depends on the project I'm working on.  I am hired out from time to time to get films back on track whether it be by re-editing projects or producing them to completion where someone else wasn't able to finish the task.  My personal projects like SEVER are passionate endeavors though if there was a job in it, it's raising the financing which I cannot stand.  It pains me greatly to have to peddle my work prior to getting it made, ask anyone who knows me.  I would much rather be the craftsman than the executive producer.

11. What does the future hold for Darkside Films?

We have several projects that we're developing that range from commercial films to animated features to boutique projects.  We're looking for the right person who is fiscally responsible and has a financial background to help us get even further out there.  We've never been more ready to explode on the scene with the material we have. 

12. And finally, tell us what it is about horror that inspires you.
Why have you gravitated towards this genre in particular?

I don't know honestly.  In high school we made Monty Python style puking videos in the 80's.  Then I got into make-up FX and went to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh because it was where Zombies came from.  

I like being scared and I've been truly scared several times in my life, it's an adrenaline rush that I crave.  But on the same token, what I see in every day life disturbs me and with a sick fascination I want to know more.  Why do people do what they do?  Why do men kill each other?  What is there reasoning behind this?  This is what truly frightens me, because most of the time they don't have an answer for you.  They just do it.


Huge thanks to DW for taking the time to answer my questions - he's certainly piqued my interest, and I can't wait to see what 'Sever' evolves into!
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