Killer Aphrodite

Hey guys and girls,

Exciting news to share today - Jake is going to be writing a weekly column over at the supremely awesome Killer Aphrodite! To celebrate, they're running a giveaway for the Pitchfork Diaries, so swing by, say hi and show them some dirty love in the way that we know only you can...

Kate x

Pitchfork Diaries Volume One out now!

So, did you hear the news?

Halloween's come early this year.

That's right - and it means that we've bowed to your increasingly frantic demands and worked our lovely asses into the ground to get the Pitchfork Diaries ready for release...now!

No, your eyes are not deceiving you! The first volume of the Diaries is now available for your delectation through Smashwords; and what's more, buy it this weekend and you can use coupon code DN54K to get it for just $1.99!

What are you waiting for?! Go and buy, and then let us know what you think - we're hungry for reviews, good or bad.

Can you handle the Diaries? http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/85736

Kate x

PS. Don't turn off the light when you go to sleep tonight...

An introduction!

Hey guys,

So, as  Jake mentioned in the previous post, there have been a few changes here at the Family of Dog HQ of late. We're all sorry to see Stacy go, but Alys and Saran are superb additions to the family and I know we're all going to have a hell of a lot of fun together!

And on that note, I'm really excited to announce that over the coming month, we're going to be welcoming guest contributors to the blog. Are you someone who is involved in the world of horror? Are you an author, an artist, a publisher, or do you maybe run a website about all things horror? If so, we'd love to hear from you.

If you'd be interested in guesting on the blog, then please email me with what it is that you do and your Twitter name and website (if applicable). Let me know what you'd like to talk about - as you can probably guess, here at the Family of Dog we go further than anyone else. Nothing is too gruesome, nothing is too extreme - I love to be scared, so give it your best shot!

Feel free to email me or Jake at any time or catch up with us on Twitter or at my blog sites - we'd love to hear from you, and don't forget to keep your eyes peeled here for all the amazing guests we've got coming up.

And most importantly - the release of the Pitchfork Diaries is just two months away! Tell everyone you know, and prepare yourself for the ride of your life...

Kate x

J.S. Reached 1,000 Followers today on Twitter!

YAY! That's right!

The ever-so-sexy and talented J.S. Bannerman (a.k.a. Jake Bannerman) reached 1,000 Followers on Twitter today so we're celebrating by giving away 1 free, digital copy of Licking the Nails of the Crucifix by J.S. Bannerman to the first two people to leave a comment on this post.

Come on you Lurkers and The FOD CRÜE Members...just a quick "Hello There" is all we need...trust me, it's worth the extra few seconds that it will take to leave a comment. ;-)

Official Pages & Sites for J.S. Bannerman

Hiya,

We've been having some trouble with crazy-people opening fake accounts on various sites (must mean that J.S. is getting REALLY popular lol) so we've decided to announce all Official Sites where you can follow your favorite author.

Find J.S. Bannerman on:

Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/J.S.Bannerman
Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/JS-Bannerman-Family-of-Dog-Offical-Fan-Page/210453205640488
Twitter: @JakeBannerman

You can email J.S. at: jake@familyofdog.com

Unblessing the Purity

This chapter plays a very important part in my book series The Family of Dog and is found in the first book The Harvest due this fall/winter.
It is also one of the most controversial things ever written and I stand by the shock the horror and anger it causes !
It is supposed to create hate and anger that is the purpose because Jesus is angry and full of hate in the scene.
For a limited time I am going to post my original manuscript which was called "How does your garden Grow?"
Therefore it is
1.Unedited
2.Fragmented
3.Not what will be in the book as it has been edited and rewritten,However what it turned out to be after its completion is stunning~

Here it is!


CHAPTER 17:

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?THE PLUSH TREES AND GRASS COVERED IN DEW SURROUNDED BY ORCHARDS AND ORCHARDS OF ANY FRUIT YOU HAD EVER DREAMED OF THE WATER WAS CLEAR AS FRESH FALLEN SNOW THAT HAD BEEN MELTED JUST TO SEDUCE YOUR QUENCHING A RAINBOW CROSSED THE EASTERN SKY AS THE AIR WAS CRISP “ I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE GARDEN OF INIQUITY AND FIND THE HARRIOT OF REILNALT” ADAM HAD NEVER BEEN APART FROM HIS PARTNER AND THE LAND WAS SO VAST HE DID NOT WANT TO DISAPPOINT JESUS HE WANTED TO SHOW HIS GRATITUDE AND SEVERANCE THAT GOD HAD CREATED HIM FOR TO SERVE THE ALMIGHTY HIS WILL WAS ADAMS COMMAND AS HE WALKED INTO THE fields IN FRONT OF HIM BAREFOOT AND NUDE THOUGH AS WE ALL KNOW WAS NOT AN ISSUE IN THE GARDEN JESUS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE ON STRICT ORDERS FROM GOD HIMSELF JESUS HAD SHARED HIS EMOTIONS ABOUT EVE WITH GOD AND LUCIFER HE FELT LUST TOWARDS HER AND GOD FORBADE THIS JESUS HAD BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO SEPARATE ADAM FROM EVE JUST TO HAVE MOMENT WITH HER EVEN THOUGH HER KNEW GOD WOULD NOT BE HAPPY IS HE FOUND OUT BUT THE SCENT OF EVE HAUNTED HIS EVERYTHING HE COULD NOT REMOVE THESE FEELINGS FROM HIS INNARDS HE EVEN TOLD GOD HE WOULD FORGIVE HIS POOR DECISION TO MAKE THE HUMANS IF GOD WOULD CREATE A WOMAN FOR HIM JESUS HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO BEAUTIFUL AND WOULD NEVER OF HAD AN ISSUE IF GOD HAD ONLY CREATED THE MALE SERVANTS BUT GOD WANTED 2 ONE FEMALE HE CALLED IT AND IT WAS WITH THE HELP OF LUCIFER HONORED AS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANGEL THAT GOD CREATED THIS BODY OF SOFT FLESH AND CURVES THAT HAD SUCH A SCENT THE MOISTNESS FROM BETWEEN EVES LEGS PENETRATED JESUS NOSTRILS AND HIS MIND WENT INTO A TERRITORY FORBIDDEN JESUS SPOKE TO EVE HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE FRUIT OF knowledge? YOUR FATHER SAID WE ARE NOT TO TOUCH IT JESUS SAID HE ALSO TOLD ME I AM NO LONGER TO BE IN THE GARDEN OR SPEAK TO YOU.EVE DID NOT UNDERSTAND JESUS WAS A WONDERFUL MAN WHO LOOKED OUT FOR EVERYONE BEFORE HIMSELF AND WHY HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO HER ANY LONGER DID NOT EQUATE FOR HER, JESUS SAID TO HER HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THE PLEASURE OF THE FRUIT.SHE ASKED PLEASURE?JESUS WALKED SLOWLY TOWARDS EVE AND PUT HIS HANDS IN HER HAIR AND SPOKE SOFTLY I WILL SHOW YOU EVE AND WITH THE QUICKNESS OF A SNAKE THRASHING ITS PREY JESUS THREW EVE TO THE GROUND FORCING HIS TONGUE IN HER MOUTH AS HIS HANDS SQUEEZED HER BREAST SHE MOANED IN SURPRISE AND SHE HAD NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE AS JESUS HANDS CARESSED HER BODY HE SPOKE THE FRUIT BRINGS THIS PLEASURE AS HER GREEN EYES GAZED UP AT HIM HE THRUST HIS COCK INTO HER FRESH VIRGIN CUNT AS SHE SCREAMED IN PAIN HE MOANED IN LUSTFUL SIN THE PLEASURE OF THE FLESH WAS SO SWEET AS HE CONTINUED TO SLAM HIS PELVIC BONE IN AND OUT OF EVE SHE WAS CONFUSED BUT WAS IN INCREASINGLY OVERWHELMING PLEASURE HIS COCK FELT AMAZING GLIDING INSIDE OF HER HER JUICES FLOWING WITH A SLIGHT MIXTURE OF BLOOD FROM HER RUPTURED HYMAN SHE PUSHED BACK AS HE CONTINUED TO THRUST INTO HER VIOLENTLY HER HIPS BEING SLAMMED WITH LUST-FILLED VIGOR HER VAGINAL WALLS RIPPING FROM THE SIZE OF HIS MANHOOD SHE FELT SO WRONG AND SO RIGHT HIS BODY SLAPPING AGAINST HER BREAST NOW AFLAME WITH NEW SENSATIONS THEIR BODIES WRITING LIKE WATER AND STONE ON THE SHORES OF THE OCEANS THIS PLEASURE HAD TO BE SHARED AS JESUS REMOVED HIMSELF FROM HER INSIDES HE EJACULATED ON EVES FACE SAYING TASTE OF ME CHILD.THOUGH SHE WAS IN EROTIC SHOCK AND HAD DISCOVERED A LESSON IN LUST FROM JESUS SHE COULD NOT SAY TO HIM IT WAS AGAINST HER WILL HE USED HIS STRENGTH AS A MAN AND ALONG WITH THE PULSATING WALLS OF HER CUNT HER INSIDES ALSO PUMPED WITH A FEELING OF ADVANTAGE..... JESUS WALKED AWAY FROM THE JUICE AND SEMEN COVERED EVE AND SAID ITS CALLED RAPE I OWN YOU WHORE, EAT THE FRUIT WITH ADAM AND BLAME IT ALL ON LUCIFER OR I WILL BE BACK TO DO IT AGAIN YOU ARE FILTH AND I USED YOU FOR MY GAIN FILTHY GAIN AND YOU LIKED IT.

Join the Family of Dog Crüe!

Hey Crüe!
How many of you are signed up for email updates? Did you know if you follow the blog and sign up for email updates that it makes you part of The Family of Dog Crüe?
That means that you'll get all the news first and receive special Crüe discounts and offers.
You never know what to expect or when, between that sexy-ass Stacy and Jake; as part of the Crüe you can even get some random free stuff!
Sign up and join The Family of Dog Crüe today.
Blessed are the sick,
J.S.B

Latest Press Release!!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Connecticut, USA - July 14, 2011

Contact for all Media, Literary & Press Inquiries:

Ms. Stacy Diablo

Family of Dog & The Goat Franchise™ Publicist/Press Agent

E-mail: stacydiablo@familyofdog.com

"Asking Questions And Getting Answers --- The Hard Way!”, The Goat Franchise™ Announces the upcoming release of Book 1, Family of Dog: The Harvest by J.S. Bannerman in the Fall/Winter of 2011!

About “Family of Dog: The Harvest”

Whatever happened to Lucifer and why was he the bad guy? One of the most troubling plagues that mankind has suffered from throughout history is complacency. It is more damaging than polio, more putrid than the Bubonic Plague and more rampant than influenza; and it is getting worse. Our children are indoctrinated into the church of 'don't ask and don’t tell' from the age of two but unlike polio, this plague, this viral complacency is very quickly and easily cured. QUESTIONS! Questions are important; this Orwellian 'ignorance is knowledge' crusade must end. Instead of relying on a television to inform us, we need to get our minds a little dirty and discover what we REALLY need, not what we are told that we need. Some will argue that the times have changed and we have progressed alongside of the technological advancements, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Step aside you pushovers and naysayers; there’s a new Dog in town!

About the Author, J.S. Bannerman

Born and raised in the North-Eastern United States, J.S. Bannerman currently resides in the country, outside of Connecticut with his German Shepard, Victor. The author makes frequent, gas-guzzling trips to Oklahoma City where he is adding the finishing touches to the “Family of Dog: The Harvest” manuscript. Rumoured to have a Canadian mistress, J.S. Bannerman is an avid collector of Nazi memorabilia, porn and naked, female-fan photos; when he’s not driving, writing or taking his dog for a walk, he’s usually sleeping. The author plans to write each book in the FOD series, in a different American City or Town; with the throw of a dart, he just might be sitting and writing in a bar near you. For the most up-to-date information on the “Family of Dog” Series, the Short Stories and all things J.S. Bannerman, please visit the “Family of Dog” blog at: http://familyofdog.blogspot.com/.

About The Goat Franchise™

The Goat Franchise™ is made up of a small group of intelligent, free-thinking individuals who ask a lot of questions and don’t take no for an answer. The Goat Franchise™ stands for freedom of thought and it promotes and supports all creative works by J.S. Bannerman.

###

The Pitchfork Diaries

Ok so I hate this part because if you know me at all you know I do NOT like the business end of this. That being said however, I want to deliver the best of everything to YOU and that's why we sell stories, gear, etc. so I can put everything back into the books!
All of the short stories we are selling well and they will be released in volumes called The Pitchfork Diaries later on this year. Each story is limited to 666 copies outside of the volumes and they will eventually sell-out; the only way you can have them before Pitchfork comes out is to grab them now.
I hope you do not think I am lame because I really really want all of this for YOU!
So that one dollar story goes right back into your pocket!
We are going to make history because you know the mass public is against us, right?
Let's do this together and thanks for standing by me you are THE CRÜE!
Blessed are the sick,
J.S.B

5 inch needles !!!!

So for those of you who do not know, your favorite horror writer suffers from mega migraine headaches. I visited the hospital yesterday and received a new drug for headaches; they injected it into my shoulder joints with big big long needles!
I feel great today and I am going to start work on my newest short story tonight. It is called "Under the last Domino". Imagine your last breath in the hands of not only your sworn enemy, but an entire race of your enemies!
Thanks so much for all of your support don't forget to pick a short story or two; we have them for sale for just $1 each!
Blessed are the sick,
J.S.B

Scarecrow and news

Hey Crüe,
Sales of my short story The Scarecrow's Lament are going well!
Thank you if you have already picked your copy up and if not, what are you waiting for?!
It looks like we are going to be releasing a new short story once a week on Monday's. Each will be for-sale in the same formats as Scarecrow; signed/unsigned/personalized/script paper signed, etc. Also, as we build a library of stories we will be releasing package deals and special editions! All building up of course to the first volume of The Pitchfork Diaries!
Don't take your eye off of the release of the first book in The Family of Dog series; Family of Dog: The Harvest, which will be coming out the Fall/Winter of 2011.
Trust me when I say that the short stories are just the tip of the iceberg; this book series will blow your head completely off!
Tell everyone just $1 gets you amazing and new, beyond the boundaries horror each week!
You all kick mega butt!

Super elastic devil plastic,
J.S.B

Thanks to Snakebite Horror!!!

Thanks Snakebite Horror! Check this out.

Interview with FEARdex.com horror ezine!

•What was your inspiration behind Family of Dog?

First and foremost thank you very much for the interview it is appreciated and I hope it brings readers insight on the book and series.

I honestly cannot say there was an inspiration as much as years of built up frustration that finally exploded and needed to be put on paper. My father, who the book is dedicated to, taught me to question everything even, if you have been told the answer. We all know the answer is not the same for everyone so use your head question anything, everything and then question your research until you find your best answer.

 This has gotten me into a ton of controversy in my life and I love it!

The name of the series, Family of Dog, is actually a lyric from a song noting DOG is GOD backwards.

•When you chose to write this book, did you base it off of any personal belief system, or was it based on what you knew of Christianity?

This is a very good question and also very important. I cannot tell you how important this piece of information is for anyone who reads The Family of Dog series.

These books are fiction. I do not claim or believe any of the events in the book actually happened and I have already been flooded with theological minded individuals about how the story is not factually sound nor is it plausible due to time lines. And the book is not even out; there are only pieces of the book available.

Now, having said that, let me outline my view on things. I am NOT a Satanist!

Though some might call me that, I abhor religion though I embrace faith.

I advocate questioning organized religion, but do it with education and meaning. Chaos without cause is empty.

Dying your hair green to look cool at school is one thing, but when it is against the rules it has an entirely different meaning. I am breaking the rules. I am the enemy of organization in the minds of people.

As far as my knowledge of Christianity, try me. I believe in the adage "Know thy enemy".

So in short, yes. And I am against any organized system of belief.

•Who is your favorite author, and did their writing style influence the way you wrote the book?

It’s hard to say. Ann Rice, maybe? Clive Barker’s “The Books of Blood” are monumental.

Stephen King; a lot of his work actually takes me home. I am from New Jersey and he is from Boston. I believe just the way he writes makes me feel like I am back east eating a Dolly Madison or a tasty cake on the beach; silly but it’s true.

As far as influence, I think I have come up with something never before done.

There really was nothing to draw influence from. It all came from a dream I had and it was like this seed that just grew and grew and turned into this massive story line. I can watch the entire movie in my head!

I will say that the original version of the book, the first draft, is much, much more shocking than the final product. I have a wonderful group of people around me softening my blows. My publicist is fantastic. She will just say "Jake......seriously" lol and I know every time she is right on the money.

My editor is fantastic and should get a co-author title but she does not want one

I call her up and say, “Listen I need a crown of thorns put on Ronald McDonald". Then I get 15 emails asking the history of McDonalds, where do large thorns grow, etc. She pushes me and then she takes my twisted work and makes it beautiful. It’s an art taking a bloody chunk of meat and turning it into a rose, but she does it.

 I am actually considering releasing the original unedited draft as a limited deal on Halloween. 666 copies only.

•What are the underlying themes of Family of Dog?  Are there any lessons that you are trying to teach in this book?

Yes and no. I am not a preacher or a teacher, I am just a normal guy with non-linear thinking who wants to share this story because I believe it is a brand new type of writing.

This is going to be the big shocker: This book is not about Satan or God in all actuality it is about the greed of mankind. Seriously, it is something we all can believe in today’s world. People are greedy and mankind’s greed has caused ALL of the world’s greatest atrocities. The Holocaust, 9/11, Jim Jones, Jeffery Dahmer, Charles Manson… I mean this could go on for days. Man is the problem, not Satan.

And that’s where the focal point of the book comes from. In the beginning you learn about the deal God and Satan have, the BIG secret. When the humans sue Satan all pacts are off. BUCKLE UP! It’s a roller coaster of insanity.

•Who is your favorite character in the Family of Dog book, and why?

Melatron, without a question!!! Melatron is an angel that was cast out of heaven with Lucifer. He then fought with Lucifer and pledged his soul back to God.

And since the voice of God will destroy humans (it’s in the bible!) God sends Melatron to speak for him at the trial and Satan punishes him. It’s amazing.

The description of Melatron and the way he communicates is just incredible. Every time I read it I kinda say to myself, "Dude that’s not bad!"

•The idea of people suing the devil because the outcome was less than what they wanted is the key plot in your story. This is an interesting story point that not many people really thought of before. How did you come up with this particular story angle?

It was a dream about a bunch of women, I such as Kim Kardashian or those despicable ladies on Jersey Shore or Kate Goslin who thinks she is special because she has 8 children. You know what’s special is a mother of 8 in the Bronx raising her children working 3 jobs that is special!! But we will never see THAT on television because reality is just too much for people to deal with, that is why they dive into crap like Jersey Shore… OK now I am ranting.

The dream had all of these ladies sitting on the hoods of their Ferraris in front of their mansions, showing off their 9 carrot diamond rings, wearing $4,000 dollar shoes and saying to each other, "This just is not enough".

That is how it all started...Who is the world’s biggest scapegoat?

Satan

•What sort of research did you do when writing your book?

Ah, well my editor and I did research on Finland. I chose Finland because Helsinki is actually designed and built according to the design of the seven layers of Hell in Dante's Inferno.

Also we had to research Finnish law and proceedings.

A little research on ritual magic, but overall not too much

And I learned how to live on 2 hours of sleep..... lol

•What were the biggest challenges that you faced when writing your story?

The biggest challenge was condensing the movie in my head into a book that was not ten thousand pages long. Originally the 18 people suing the devil were all going to be in the first book, but with a genius suggestion I decided to do

6 people in the first book (The Harvest) 6 people in the second book (Return to Sender) and 6 in the third book (The Reich).

So 666...... ohhhhh scary huh?

I also think that sex is an important element in my books, not so much in The Harvest but it picks up steam in the second book Return to Sender.

Sex is a driving force of not only evil, but in competition. Think of it like this, do you cook the same dinner for your brother as you do for the hot redhead you want to fill out like an application?

•What got you interested in writing about this type of genre, in particular, religion?

It touches a big nerve, religion, because it is what we have all been taught!

I just want someone to admit that if we all took our children only to McDonalds and if they ate anywhere else they would suffer an eternity of fire, McDonalds would be the size of the pentagon.

It’s indoctrination and it should be questioned. I don’t know about you, but I will take some sushi and lamb chops over a damn Big Mac any day any time!

Lastly, a few things my press agent gets all of the emails before I do and I LOVE that she is my right hand! But do not hesitate to contact me. I will answer all emails do every interview. Just ask my Facebook and Twitter friends, I will call you personally.

It is also important to say I am going to be giving a portion of the proceeds to Project Boobies (www.projectboobies.com). I want to give back everything I can.

Thanks for all of the fans over at The Family of Dog Blog  http://familyofdog.blogspot.com

Find me on twitter @jakebannerman and search Jake Bannerman on Facebook.

Once again, thanks! I hope everyone enjoys the book and if someone happens to want to be involved just shoot my press agent an email: e_prov@yahoo.com.

On the Non stop to Nowhere!
Jake B