TOP TEN

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TOP TEN

BY:JAKE BANNERMAN

This time I am going to go over something I struggle with on a daily basis and that is acceptance and my top ten reasons why I should strive to gain your acceptance and then I will rebuttal my own top ten with another top ten reasons why I should not.

1. I want you to buy my book!
2. I want your friends and family to buy my book
3. I want your girlfriend to buy my book
4. I want your girlfriends family and friends to buy my book
5. Start at number 1 and repeat

There is no question about it I want book sales I want to bathe in money and drive my Mercedes into an ice cream truck just to see the artwork it would create,I want to surround myself with porn stars who live to have my dick slapped on their face when I bust a nut. I want monogrammed toilet paper, I want to lite my cigarettes with hundred dollar bills and by the way I want to fuck your girlfriend and her mother and her sisters while you video tape it. Now let me give you my top ten reasons why I am not completely worried about your acceptance!

1. I do not give a fuck if you buy my book!
2. I don’t give a fuck if your friends and family buy my book
3. I do not care if your slut girlfriend buys my book!
4. And as far as her family and friends go,unless They are fucking me I could care less
5. Start at number one and repeat.

So its like this I want you to buy my book because it is a quality product and its well worth your time and honestly want you to become interested in my work and continue to read my work because I enjoy doing it and enjoy the fact that you read it.

At the same time if it means I think ant less of my self because you do not buy my book or you talk bad about my book ( join the fucking club) you would be dead wrong..

Now I am surrounded by professionals who tell me what and what not to say and this is the kind of thing that will get their blood boiling and I will face the repercussions I am sure it will be a routine ass chewing from my partners.

But guess what I will continue to wave my flag around with my my middle finger up and spitting venom and vigor and swagger and pissing on the book world and see what people seem to miss about a guy like me is this, If I am on your side I will do all of these things for YOU because without YOU I am nothing but one voice, With YOU we are an army!!!

My point is do not hate the shotgun because it is dangerous BUY the shotgun because it is dangerous!

You have a chance to join me in flipping off the world and liking it or you can go buy the next faggot vampire book and continue to act like you are a horror fan.